One of the biggest struggles my husband and I have within our family is arguing. Unfortunately, this isn’t a surprise to some. My children constantly fight with each other and my husband and I do too. I prayed to God to help me to understand why things are this way and how we can fix them.
I know that children learn by what they see and hear. I knew that our children were probably mimicking my husband and I arguing with each other. However, I knew there had to be more behind our troubles. Then God brought me to a verse.
Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that war within you. James 4:1
There it was. In black and white, the answer to my question. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. When my husband and I argue, it’s stemmed from us not getting what we want, or what we expected.
In my experience, those are dangerous things to have. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have any expectations, but try to make them reasonable. After all, God has expectations for us. When we fail to meet His expectations, what happens? Mercy. When my husband has been gone at work all day, I pray that he doesn’t expect me to have the house spotless after a full day of homeschooling. If he did, he’d be pretty disappointed!
I felt convicted to stop holding my husband to my expectations, especially when he doesn’t even know them! Instead, I pray he lives up to God’s expectations. None of us are perfect, but we all have been given mercy.
I was unknowingly teaching my children to expect to always get what they want. Now, slowly, I’m trying to help my children realize that when they expect something, they should voice it. If they don’t get what they expect, to be okay with it, and give mercy. Although, I also teach them that if they take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Dear God, I pray that instead of worrying about my selfish desires I will focus on you. Lord, thank you for my family and all that you’ve given me. Please help me to love more, and expect less. Amen